Leave The Light On

🪩👻

“The more time I spend with you, the more I don’t like myself.”

I’m starting to think he’s not the only one.

Not that I’m making people feel this way, no.

Maybe I don’t remind people of their mothers;

I was just the shine on the glass they sought after.

Maybe I can’t radically accept that people are lazy.
Maybe… I don’t know.

It’s lonely to be so low,
reaching for beams of hope,
reaching for myself.

I don’t yet see in front of me;
Summer has washed out the light.

I tell myself I don’t need anyone.

So the gap grows. I allow it.

Copium or no, thanks. 💐

---

A friend said,
“I know we’re supposed to save the planet,
but I like disposable stuff because I’m a bad person… don’t judge me!”

So I say nothing. 👈🏻🤐

Nothing suffices.
The silence, too deafening.

Why should I do what you ask of me?
It only makes you hate the you you see in me.

That’s the thing:
I try to become the best I can be.

For what?

Bending under the weight of funhouse-shaped people in mirror light,
we shine glimmers of likeness on each other as quickly as we turn away.

We’re so funny.
Silly monkeys, you and me.

---

Editing thoughts leaves an aftertaste.
Decided I don’t like it.

Still might…
Oh, that’s gonna haunt.

Is that what I’m trying to do?

Reverse-engineered preemptive strike,
after strike, after… words.

All it takes is words.

Hurt?

That’s not my intent.

To be, to inflict, to see…
But there it is: Projection.

There you were, stumbling on shadows.

There was I, right where you expected,
To Be Wounded by the scorner, dressed in old leather sins, himself.

The difference is, I am my enemy no longer.

“Fucking myself…” but not like you anymore.

Not like I wanted harm;
Safety and transparency,
You spared me none.

Acceptance. We bite.

Weather the storm.

Move the fuck on.